“You don’t look autistic..”

Ok so that isn’t what the person said to me, but that’s what they meant when they said, “I wouldn’t have known”. Am I missing something. Am I supposed to have a meltdown in front of them? Completely avoid eye contact? Pretend to be a science/ Maths/ train timetable (delete as applicable) nerd? I was also asked about masking, which I explained including how I watched TV and film to learn about body language and often found myself copying facial expressions to try and fit in. Apparently this is clever? It isn’t, it’s what I do to force myself to fit into a world that wasn’t designed for people like me. I also mentioned that I can only really unmask at home with my (also autistic) husband. “How wonderful that you have that safe space.” What? One safe space, when neurotypical people have many? Should I not feel safe to be myself in EVERY space? Should I not be able to unmask at work, on the bus, the supermarket and with all my friends, family, acquaintances and colleagues? I have sort of accepted this reality of masking but I’m trying to build up the confidence to start dropping the mask sometimes. However, people don’t get how exhausting masking is, and in my 40’s I really want to start figuring out who I am and to be accepted by others. Did I miss the memo? Is there some kind of autistic passport I should carry around, or maybe an autistic uniform to wear. Re: the latter, it should be dungarees because they are awesome.